Ahhh December. It was almost a year ago when I recieved news. Saddest news ever. At the time my world was crashing down. What about my happy ending? Why me? But in the end, I had the happiest ending of them all. And I couldn't be more thankful that everything happened the way it did.
I did it.
I have had a whole year to myself.
When I broke up with hewhomustnotbenamed I told myself that I would give myself one year to be by myself. To discover me. To live for me. To be happy for myself. To learn a new life that didn't include someone. A life that was about self, discovery and being my own person. I made a promise I would do this because I don't want to ever be at that point in my life again. I needed to know I could just 'be' me. When you are kicked down so low, you question a lot of things and I had to do something to promise myself I could and would get out of that dark and nasty place by myself. A lot of people have questioned what I am doing. I don't though. I can honestly say I took that low point in my life and have made myself the happiest ending I can imagine. I have grown so much in this year. I am so much stronger. I have a whole new outlook on life. So as sad as last December was for me, now I can only apprecaite it. I love that I can look back and see where I have came from this last year. So far. So freaking far. And I am proud.
So what does this mean now? I have done what I wanted to do. And last night I was thinking about the day I laid in bed crying, wishing I could disappear into the air. Wishing I could forget it all. Wondering what I had done wrong. The day I made a promise I would be fine and I would learn to be alone and find my own happiness. I've finally picked up all the pieces. Every one of them. Now I am whole. I am new. I am me.
What do I do now? Start over and never forget where I came from.
Hello world, here I am. New. Ready. Excited.
Watch out.
No comments:
Post a Comment