hello 2012, its nice to meet you...

Everyone is so excited for a 'new start'. I posted on my Facebook yesterday how it was only 3 days into the new year and it sucked already. I woke up this morning feeling like a fucktard. I thought to myself how stupid I was to think and post that...really, 3 days in and you are already giving it a bad name? NO you aren't!Everyday is a new start. Seriously. Every single day I wake up. A new day. A new clean slate. That being said, I do like the idea of the new year because it brings reflection. It is a good start and ending point. I have so much to be thankful for in 2011. I decided to name it my 'year of me, year of growth'. That is exactly what I did. I spent the whole year learning about myself and growing. I realize every year is going to have its ups and downs, there is no way around it. It is how we handle these events and learning to balance the highs and lows. Not everyday is going to be glitter and rainbows, we are all going to have those shitty ass rain, mud, fuckyoufuckoff days, its inevitable.

That being said, I spent a few days deciding on what I would try and improve on this year. Fear. I let the fear of things get the best of me, more times than not. Fear of failing, falling, rejection, whatever form the fear comes as, it usually wins. Not anymore. This year I will not live in fear. I will do things that scare me, things that test me, things that I shouldn't but I will anyways because I am not going to let the fear of something stop me from living my life.

I am not one for 'resolutions' so instead I made a 2012 "bucket list" things I want to do. They might look like resolutions or goals to you, but they are just things I want to do.

• Skydive
• Road trip (anywhere, I am talking get in the car one Thursday night and drive somewhere for the weekend, get in and goooo!)
• Run a half marathon
• Learn to shoot a gun
• Get another tattoo
• Take a dance class
• Save money just to buy myself something nice
• Spend more time with my grandparents
• Do something crazy and fun with my hair
• Volunteer 100 hours, homeless shelters, classrooms, hospitals
• Try new restaurants
• Meet my goal weight

Obviously this list will be added to and adjusted as the year goes on. Here is to a year full of happiness, friendship, love, laughter and most importantly, LIVING WITHOUT FEAR.