I love my life and my babies.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
heart skipped a beat.
Henry Rollins
and this song fucking ROCKS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjUX2LESOpM
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
halloween
xxoo
Annndddd the last picture of the night, sums up our night very well
Thursday, October 20, 2011
wake up people...
Letter from the Boss - A real letter from a real company
To All My Valued Employees,
There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job.
What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country. Of course, as your employer, I am forbidden to tell you whom to vote for - it is against the law to discriminate based on political affiliation, race, creed, religion, etc.
Please vote who you think will serve your interests the best. However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interest. First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story.
This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You've seen my big home at last years Christmas party. I'm sure all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life. However, what you don't see is the back story.
I started this company 12 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot studio apartment for 3 years. My entire living space was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company which, by the way, would eventually employ you.
My diet consisted of Ramen Pride noodles because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didn't have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.
Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50K a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting Nordstrom's for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the Goodwill store extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 70's.
My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.
So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9 a.m., mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5 p.m., I don't. There is no "off" button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and you have the weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, ****, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to me like a one day old baby.
You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden -- the nice house, the Mercedes, the vacations. You never realized the back story and the sacrifices I've made. Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions, sacrificed and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn't.
The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for. Yes, business ownership has is benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds. Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why: I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough. I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers compensation taxes. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a tax man just to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a check to the US Treasury for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" check was? Zero. Nada. Zilch.
The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Is it me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, is it the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check?
Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country. The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you? That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy. Here is what many of you don't understand ... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had suddenly government mandated to me that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Washington black-hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.
When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don't defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the mud of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine.
Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep. So where am I going with all this? It's quite simple. If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV payment and for your child's future. Frankly, it isn't my problem any more. Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire.
You see, I'm done. I'm done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, will be my citizenship.
While tax cuts to 95% of America sounds great on paper, don't forget the back story: If there is no job, there is no income to tax. A tax cut on zero dollars is zero. So, when you make decision to vote, ask yourself, who understands the economics of business ownership and who doesn't? Whose policies will endanger your job? Answer those questions and you should know who might be the one capable of saving your job. While the media wants to tell you "It's the economy Stupid" I'm telling you it isn't.
If you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steamrolled the Constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me in South Caribbean sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about.
Signed, Your boss,
To All My Valued Employees,
There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job.
What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country. Of course, as your employer, I am forbidden to tell you whom to vote for - it is against the law to discriminate based on political affiliation, race, creed, religion, etc.
Please vote who you think will serve your interests the best. However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interest. First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story.
This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You've seen my big home at last years Christmas party. I'm sure all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life. However, what you don't see is the back story.
I started this company 12 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot studio apartment for 3 years. My entire living space was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company which, by the way, would eventually employ you.
My diet consisted of Ramen Pride noodles because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didn't have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.
Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50K a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting Nordstrom's for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the Goodwill store extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 70's.
My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.
So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9 a.m., mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5 p.m., I don't. There is no "off" button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and you have the weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, ****, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to me like a one day old baby.
You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden -- the nice house, the Mercedes, the vacations. You never realized the back story and the sacrifices I've made. Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions, sacrificed and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn't.
The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for. Yes, business ownership has is benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds. Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why: I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough. I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers compensation taxes. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a tax man just to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a check to the US Treasury for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" check was? Zero. Nada. Zilch.
The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Is it me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, is it the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check?
Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country. The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you? That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy. Here is what many of you don't understand ... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had suddenly government mandated to me that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Washington black-hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.
When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don't defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the mud of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine.
Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep. So where am I going with all this? It's quite simple. If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV payment and for your child's future. Frankly, it isn't my problem any more. Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire.
You see, I'm done. I'm done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, will be my citizenship.
While tax cuts to 95% of America sounds great on paper, don't forget the back story: If there is no job, there is no income to tax. A tax cut on zero dollars is zero. So, when you make decision to vote, ask yourself, who understands the economics of business ownership and who doesn't? Whose policies will endanger your job? Answer those questions and you should know who might be the one capable of saving your job. While the media wants to tell you "It's the economy Stupid" I'm telling you it isn't.
If you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steamrolled the Constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me in South Caribbean sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about.
Signed, Your boss,
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
changing seasons...
After my regret rant yesterday and a quick chat with my dad today, I realized something. Getting over someone is like the changing seasons. Sounds crazy, I know, I know, just hear me out.
My least favorite season is Fall, Fall and Winter could fall off this earth and I wouldn't be the least bit sad. So days after my break up when I was sad, realized what could have been or what isn't anymore is was like my fall. I hate it. I didn't want to do anything, my heart hurt and I didn't like my new season change.
Winter came and it got a little easier, I still didn't like the change, it was still dark and gloomy. I didn't like the season but my heart slowly felt better. I slowly realized soon spring and summer would be here, when the times get easier.
Each season brings new challenges and new healing.
Spring arrived and my heart was almost full again. The sun came out, the flowers started blooming and my heart started to smile. I felt like myself again.
Summer is here. I am finally letting go of what I cant change. What was, what is and what could have been. They don't matter anymore. Those were things that filled my fall and winter. I am in summer. Why would I look back and dwell on the things I don't like? It isn't going to do me any good. I like summer. I like the warm days and cooler nights. I like the clear skies and stars. I love everything about summer, I am not going to dwell on my fall or winter.
So now I am faced with learning to accept what I can't change. And after my conversation with my daddy today I realize how much I have grown and pushed on. He told me I inspired him and that I make him proud.
He said, "I have never saw such determination and sheer will from you and I think that relationship is partially responsible. I have told your mom how very proud I am of how hard you work and your persistence striving for your goals." He's right. He is so right! I have been able to push myself harder than ever before because of my past. Because I realize what happens when I sit back and let someone do it for me. My ladies, I just hope you all remember, when we have our winters about different things that may come up in our lives, summer does come again. And it will come back better, bigger and more badass than the year before. And eventually it will be so great that our winters will be summers all year long :)
xxxxoooo.
Monday, October 10, 2011
regret and a really badass piercing.
A year and a half with you was way too long and I don't know why it took me so long to realize you are a such nasty, nasty, horrible person. You play such an innocent, kind, loving person but you are ugly. In fact, you are the ugliest person I know.
I regret it all and I want to take it all back. I look at my time with you as wasted. Yes, wasted. Time I will never get back. Time I thought I was someone I wasn't and you were someone you most certainly weren't / aren't... The only thing I am thankful for is how strong you made me, but, I won't ever thank you for it. You don't deserve any satisfaction, from me especially.
Moving on has never felt better. I am only sad it took me so long to realize all of these things. It can only go up from here, someday you will be a faint, hardly painful memory. Someday I will be at peace with all of this and I will forgive you. Your actions- and only because if I don't I know I will suffer and you will be on doing whatever or whoever it is you do. The only peace I have is knowing someday you will get yours, and hey, if you don't, I am a stronger person and I learned a lot about myself and what I want.
Enough of you, you've wasted enough of my time.
Isn't this piercing amazing?! I WANT it. Like now.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
hello october :]
An impulse buy is called 'an impulse buy' and not 'a well thought out decision about what you really need in both the immediate and the long term' for a reason. So before you heed that impulse-of-the-moment and land yourself with an expensive and unnecessary item on the 1st and 2nd, consider carefully. Then reconsider. Then go home and think about it some more. In all likelihood, as soon as you step in the door you will realize your living room is complete without a stuffed life-sized plush giraffe doll whose neck is too tall for the ceiling, anyway. If it isn't immediately clear, it will probably become clear after a good night's sleep. Aren't you glad you aren't paying off that credit card charge? By the 5th and 6th -- when you really could use the money -- you'll be pretty thrilled you didn't make that unreasonable long-necked toy purchase. Focus on love on the 13th. A romantic relationship is, by definition, going to involve another person. So be sensitive to their needs on the 14th if you want it to work. Pay attention to your dreams on the 18th and 19th. You're super deep on the 24th. Which isn't always easy. Great news brightens your life on the 26th and 27th. Wrap up the month on the 31st by signing that contract.
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